This evening I decided to try something new at my gym, it was called Total Conditioning. The reasons I decided to try it were because 1) it was free, 2) it was an hour and 15 minutes so it would surely have me sweating, and 3) it didn’t sound like one of those classes where you have to be coordinated. I’m one of the least coordinated people in the world, more on that in a second.
I walked into the class and saw these raised platforms all around the room. Apparently “total conditioning” is another way of saying “Step Class.” I have never taken a step class because they sounded silly, just up and down on a step, how retarded. I was already there, so I decided to stay for the class and then just do weightlifting and an elliptical machine later. The wussy music came on and the class started.
After about 15 minutes into the class, my rear was handed to me on a silver platter. There was some just step up and step down parts, but then there were other parts…evil parts…parts that are not good for uncoordinated people. I couldn’t do some of the moves and the leader was going way too fast and I didn’t clap and turn when I should and at one point I resorted to doing the Hokey Pokey. I even messed up on a high kick part. I accidentally punted my stepping platform off of it’s 2 blocks. It went rolling and flying across the floor, taking down the leader and scaring 5 people around me. I felt so bad and I turned so red! Had I known this class required coordination and grace I wouldn’t have done it. Joggers can’t be steppers apparently, at least not this jogger.