Electric Mandolin vs. Me

For Christmas, I received an electric food mandolin. I always complain about how long it takes me to chop up my fruits and veggies so someone decided this would solve my problem. Tonight I decided to try it out.
I first noticed the manual. It’s pretty big and has 5 languages and 2 different mandolin models. I assessed my mandolin and turned to the English directions. They were improperly translated and offered little help. I brushed it off and decided to just go with my gut regarding assembly.
Ok, I was ready. I put it together, I got out my desired food, my growling stomach was cheering me on and then another bump in the road…I couldn’t find the ON switch. I expressed this problem verbally, and laughter came from the kitchen table where my sister was watching intently. (I should mention that I have a bad track record with anything electrical and/or having to do with the kitchen and because of this my sister likes to watch me. I think she does it so that way when the firemen/police/geek squad/ambulance come and ask what happened to the house/kitchen/computer/room/random appliance, she can laugh and recall it in great detail for them.) As I was referring to the manual for the ON switch location, I noticed that there were limitations to the mandolin. You could only use fruits and veggies, and they couldn’t be frozen, warm, soft, hard or citrus.

This one looks way more friendly and accommodating than mine.

I glanced over at my cauliflower and tomatoes on the counter and then back at the book. My food and I decided we wouldn’t tell the mandolin they were “no-no” foods and hope that it forgot. I found the button to make it run and we were off! After about 10 seconds, the mandolin remembered it didn’t like raw cauliflower and decided to literally stop. When things don’t work for me, my first instinct is to shake it, so I did. The mandolin started working again for another few seconds. By this time my stomach was overdue for dinner and didn’t care what I had to do as long as I would be feeding it soon. I ended up violently shaking and scooting the mandolin up and down the counter to get it to finish grating my cauliflower. I sat down for a rest and looked at the tomatoes, I wanted to try to put them in the mandolin, but seeing as how there was a hint of electrical burn already in the air and that the mandolin was already warm, I decided to just chop them by hand.
An hour later, I was able to sit down and enjoy my meal. The electrical burning smell is still in the air, but I unplugged the mandolin just in case. I’m also waiting until it cools down to wash it. My sister was happy that I didn’t take down the house with my attempt at using the mandolin. I am a bit disappointed in it, it should have a backbone and properly chop my veggies without me having to use force and get an extra workout for the day. There will be more rounds, MANY more rounds, Mandolin will not beat me.

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