Words of the road

I was driving a friend and myself out to dinner the other night, and a fairly frequent occurrence happened: Someone casually drifted into my lane, slowly without a signal. Not a big deal to most, but I like manners, especially on the road, and especially from cars that you know have working blinkers. I said my usual choice word “asswipe”, and my friend started laughing at me. She’s been in cars with me so much that she has picked up the terms I use and when I use them. I’m going to explain the 2 words I use and the situations that I use them in so you can all be as awesome as my friend and know my words of the road.
I want to say that I’m not usually a potty mouth, but when people driving around me don’t have common road courtesy I get a bit testy.

At least I don't look as scary as this cartoon when I do it. I would also like to say that I don't flip people the bird or yell out my window.

So let’s start off with “asswipe.” Not pleasant sounding, no one wants to be called this, it sounds dirty and disgusting, it’s not appropriate for usual conversation, it’s rude and an all around ugly thing to say. Asswipes are drivers who don’t follow rules of the road like they should. These people drift into lanes with signals, turn into a shopping plaza without warning you, slam on their breaks for no reason, take up 2 lanes of traffic trying to go the opposite way, beep at you for stopping at a residential crosswalk for pedestrians, etc. They have poor driving manners and/or don’t remember the basic rules of the road.
My other choice word? Buttfuck. I know! It’s ultra bad! I can’t believe I just typed it without bleeping some of the letters out. I can’t believe it comes out of my mouth, but it does on some occasions. These occasions are more rare, so I don’t say it as much. The only drivers on the road who have this awful, vulgar word directed at them are ones that literally scare me. The psycho who is weaving and speeding between cars and lanes, the person behind you who comes at your car full speed and slams on their brakes only to ride your car’s butt, the driver who you think is going to let you into their lane and then swerves and zooms around you as you are halfway in, the driver who comes along side of you and beeps repeatedly because you are doing the speed limit and he isn’t happy, etc. The ones who manage to scare me and make me shaky get called that term under my breath.
At least I don’t have major road rage, I personally think being a potty mouth under my breath is way better than going psycho on other drivers and causing possible damage to other cars and drivers.
Okay fess up. Do you say awful things when you are driving? Do you road rage? Are you a driver that would provoke me to use one of my words?

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