Warning Labels

Have you ever thought how useful warning labels are? They are amazing! If something isn’t edible, the warning labels tell you so. If something isn’t meant to be inserted in your body, it tells you. If something isn’t suitable for babies, it tells you. As if the warning labels aren’t clear enough, there’s usually numbers you can call as well, simply amazing.
This got me thinking today. What if people came with warning labels? How great would that be? People could have warning labels like “Warning: I’m underage and jailbait”, or “Warning: I’m married and trying to use you as a mistress.” It would certainly make the whole dating process easy. None of this business of lying, it would promote honesty. The warning labels should go smack dab in the middle of everyone’s forehead. Why? Because then you’d instantly know their deal by the first picture you saw of them. If it was on their back or something, then it could be covered and that’d defeat the whole purpose.
I wonder what my warning label would be. I don’t have an easy one like being a cheater, being married already, having 10 children, secretly being a man, or being an alien…at least I don’t think I’m an alien. I guess my warning label would be something minor in the grand scheme of things, like:
Warning: Texts WAY too much
Warning: Has a sense of humor only I understand
Warning: Acts her shoe size more than her age
Warning: Is an honesty whore
Warning: Is incredibly bubbly
Warning: Craves physical touch
Unless someone just didn’t like being social or being touched or something retarded, then I probably wouldn’t be anything to worry about. If they didn’t like being touched or being social, then they really have no business dating and need to find a nice rock to crawl under.
Warning Labels for people, something the government needs to think about implementing.

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