Pet Peeve: Saran Wrap

Dear Saran Wrap,
Why do you hate me so? I’ve never wronged you, I’ve always tried to love you but you keep pushing me away. The way you cling and curl onto yourself so it is impossible for me to untangle you is absurd and highly undesired. Why do you get mean and nasty with me when I try to do something good? On Christmas Eve when I was making 6 dozen cookies, I wanted you to be their protector, to help lock in their deliciousness. Why did you first withhold yourself from me, then fling your whole roll out of the box and onto the cookie platter? It was rather uncalled for. The last straw was when I finally managed to cut you on your box edge, you came back and knocked my platter, sending the cookies banging against the edges and crumbling some. After all my hard work and wanting to use you in this amazing feat of mine, you repay me like that? Not cool, Saran Wrap, not cool. You intimidate me with your clinging self. Your thin, see-through but hard to rip exterior flirts with me at the most inopportune times. When I need you, you’re not there. When I don’t need you initially, you twist the situation to your liking so that I have no choice but to use you. You upset the aluminum wrap that you sit next to in the pantry. I don’t know what you do to it, but half the time I go into the pantry, you’ve scared it into jumping down from it’s shelf and laying on the floor. Shame on you Saran Wrap, you’re such a bully. I hate you.

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