My past month was enlightening obviously. I have a notebook full of stuff I learned about myself, happiness, and relationships. I thought it would be good to look back on my original pledge and compare it to now to see how I did.
I focused on what I seriously want and what I should be looking for. I have a clear picture of an ideal relationship for me. I figured out some traits my next boyfriend would have. I used my past relationships to help me think toward the future. Exes are exes for a reason by the way, don’t EVER go back to them. I don’t care how much you think they’ve changed or how different they act, I know some movies make it look like it’s going to end well but it won’t. Plus with like 8 billion people in the world it will do you some good to meet other men 🙂 So back to my assessment of myself. When I made the pledge I said I would go hard-core single as in no dating, no boyfriends, no new men, etc. I held up that promise until the very last day when I ended up with a weekend activity partner. I’m going to let myself pass on that though and here’s why. I had absolutely no intention of doing that on that evening. It wasn’t planned, it was just supposed to be dinner. I denied all other advances I got at the gym, the stores, and even the bank. I stayed off of Match, Craigslist, and OkCupid and I resisted the urge to flirt with any men. I worked on all my stated missions and then some, I should get an A+ for that section. I never looked for a loophole or tried to wiggle out of the tasks, I did them all to my satisfaction.
There was one issue I couldn’t resolve, my daydream intruder. He’s still on my mind, I couldn’t even get rid of him for a day. I fought it so hard, I would have been happy for just 1 day without my mind going to him but I couldn’t do it. I’m thinking that the only way for him to vanish from my mind would be if I was in a relationship or if he went out and got a girlfriend. I’m hoping this will settle itself before too long so then it won’t be an issue.
Overall, it looks like I did great and obtained very helpful information, I’m proud of myself and how it all turned out. What’s next for me? Am I still single? Have I reverted back to my old ways? Yes I’m still technically single, I haven’t reverted back to my old ways and I don’t think I will…at least not as bad. I will strive for an actual relationship in the future, avoid Craigslist completely for dating (did you know I was actually getting a reputation on there? That’s scary!), and be more conservative about my Casuals/activity partners. I haven’t gotten back on Match or OkCupid yet, truth be told, relationships were tiring! This month has felt wonderful, I didn’t know it, but I was so dragged down and tired from all the dating and relationships. Sometimes I would have 3-4 dates a week and they took their toll on me. I won’t be taking a forever break from it though, probably sometime in December I will casually start looking again.
One last thing I should mention. I didn’t come up with being intentionally single on my own. I read it on a blog and it intrigued me, so then I decided to do it. You can go here and read his blog on it. I think I was more limiting to myself, but I believe we both got something from our experiences.