This is going to sound corny, but bare with me. When I was training for my first half marathon, I was told to think of myself crossing the finish line. Think of how I would feel, see myself healthy and strong, think of the time on the clock being the time I was training for, think of the cheering people, the buttloads of cool water I’d be chugging, etc. Thinking of that moment and seeing it in my mind helped me tremendously. I believe that this can also be applied to other things, in this case, a happy future relationship.
Think into the future a little, not so far as you being old on a porch watching 10 grandkids run around the front yard, but at least a bit into the future. Say your next relationship type of future. Are you happy? You should be. What is it about the relationship and that person that is making you happy? Think of a moment you wish to have in your next relationship. It doesn’t have to be huge, mine sure isn’t. Think about the dialogue, the person you’re with, how you are feeling. Isn’t it marvelous? Keep that moment in your mind, think back to it frequently.
My moment? It’s so simple. I’m in a park or somewhere outdoors, it’s sunny but not hot and there’s a slight breeze. I’m sitting next to him. He’s turned toward me, our legs are loosely entwined and we are lightly touching each other’s hands. We aren’t saying anything, just both smiling and into one another. I don’t notice if other people are around because at this moment it feels like time has stopped just for us. Slowly our eyes lock and we gaze into one another’s eyes. His eyes are stunning, they make my heart flutter and I get goosebumps. I give him a little smile and he flashes me one back. He lightly brings one of my hands to his lips, kisses my palm softly, “you’re incredible”, he says. He then kisses my inner wrist, “you were meant for me, you know that don’t you”? The sensation of his lips on my skin makes me suck in a breath of air and close my eyes. “Yes” is my answer. It’s quiet, but just loud enough for him to hear, he smiles and my heart melts. I feel happy and blessed to be with him, not left with the feeling of wanting more, I feel very satisfied, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more. We aren’t pretending with one another, we are simply ourselves, meant for one another.
Just a brief moment, big or small, doesn’t matter. Play the moment in your head frequently, over time, get more specific about it. I’ll next think about the smell of him, the roughness of his hands or not, things along those lines. Make the moment as real as possible. I got my happiness envisioned, go get yours.
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