Intentionally Single Lesson #2: Know Thyself

Take the time to get to know yourself. You may think you know yourself well enough already, but go deeper, poke around, have a nice interview with yourself. You will learn something new. My idea is that if you know yourself, you’ll be able to better distinguish what you want in a potential mate, relationship, and in life in general.
1. I realized that I am an obsessive list person. I have 5 lists varying on topics on any given day at least. I have a general to do list, a list for work tasks, a list for specific household duties, a list of my workout for the day, and sometimes I even have a list for dividing up the time in my day. If I were to enter into a relationship, he’s going to need to know this because lists would encroach into his space and because I plan things around my list, I don’t do spur of the moment things…usually.
2. I realized that I’m one of the biggest dorks ever. This includes but isn’t limited to talking to and dancing with my pets as if they are people, dancing while I jog in public, deliberately acting/sounding weird in public for the purpose of freaking out my sibling and friends, and of course singing and dancing around the house in little clothing which I already mentioned in a previous post.

I'm willing to bet this guy knew in advance that she was going to piggyback him. My ideal end result would be the same, even though he'd initially be a bit surprised.

Can I be mature? Yes absolutely. I just enjoy life and want to make the most out of it for as long as I’m here, enjoy it. He’s going to need to know this so when I get a running start and jump on his back or tackle him from behind, he won’t try to fight me like I’m an attacker. Very important.
3. I prefer more indoor, quiet activities as opposed to big, loud, noisy activities. I can do them though, I don’t mind going to a big party once in awhile or a loud concert where I’m in the moshpit. But I still like coming home, grabbing the latest book I’m reading along with a cup of tea, and enjoying the gentle quiet of the house. Speaking of quiet, I also realized that I don’t watch nearly as much TV as I assumed. I do The Office, Simpsons, and sometimes The Bachelor if the guy seems like a good person. Other than that I don’t actually sit there and watch much TV. Sometimes I have it going as I work on the computer or check email in the evening, but it’s not for my viewing pleasure and for the sake of noise. My potential boyfriend needs to know this because I think it would be one of the greatest things ever to have a quiet evening reading our individual books while snuggled together. He could write or do a crossword puzzle or something too, but he needs to enjoy quiet evenings in at least once in awhile.
4. Here’s one of the more surprising ones I found out. I think I have a moderately high sexual drive. There’s several things I want to try, lots of things I like, and plus I really enjoy the rush/high I get from sexual activities. Maybe I shouldn’t call it a high sexual drive, but more like a high physical touch drive. It doesn’t have to be sex, but intimate touching, massaging, cuddling is something I crave. I tend to do this in public as well, though not on the same level. I will grab his hand and hold it if he doesn’t take the initiative. I will put his arms around my waist or on my hips if he doesn’t go for me on his own. I will straddle his lap if he’s not touching me in some way and appears to have a wandering eye. He needs to know this about me so when I get crazy and make moves on him in a theater it means that I haven’t gotten my needed quota of physical touch for the day.
5. Okay, final thing I’ll mention even though there are several more. I do NOT want “the fairytale.” I do not want the fairytale anything, including while we are dating, exclusive, engaged, married, etc. none of it. I don’t want some prince who is so docile that people question if he’s really straight. I don’t want him to sing an opera song to me or “save” me from anything, unless someone breaks into our home, then yes he’s more than welcome to go out there and save me lol. I don’t want to just go through the motions in the relationship for the sake of it being comfortable and the norm for us. I want something intense, passionate, someone who challenges and stimulates me intellectually. I want to differ on some things, I want to have stupid arguments about dirty clothes on the floor instead of in the hamper or whatever it is. I want to have that rip off the other person’s clothes and do things on the kitchen counter or coffee table because the bedroom is too far. I want him to wonder and crave to know what random design I have on my panties because I had to get up and leave before him. I want those random, sometimes naughty texts a couple times a week just because we’re both crazy for each other. He needs to know this because we both deserve to find a relationship like this, and if it isn’t with each other then we both need to admit it to the other and not ignore it.
Lessons Learned:
-Comfortable isn’t always a good thing.
-It’s completely okay to put yourself first sometimes, just don’t get snotty about it.
-Don’t change yourself for anyone, you’re awesome how you are. Instead, find someone who will appreciate you for being your special self.

Sidenote: I just deleted 864 important emails permanently while trying to unhighlight/save them from this fate. I have 3 things left in my inbox, none of which were nearly as important. Tomorrow is going to be fun, I needed those emails for school enrollment…I’m so smooth sometimes.

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