Cue Card Guy

I borrowed this idea from someone else’s blog, but I don’t think he’d mind so here we go.
Cue Card guy is the invisible man behind the girl, giving males what is supposed to be recovery phrases for “oopsie” moments. Example, when a guy tells a female “Wow you really stink”, Cue Card guy is supposed to be there, faithfully waiting with something good to say to make up for it. “But you look as gorgeous as ever.”
According to his former girlfriend, the Cue Card guy didn’t help at all and would offer random, unhelpful compliments. “Wow, you stink”, “but you sure know how to put your shoes on the right feet.”
My experience with Cue Card guy is far worse. MB’s Cue Card guy is downright offensive. Example from last week’s phone call “Hey there you, I can’t hang out this coming week because you don’t give me pussy”*hysterical laughter from MB, silence from me*”Okay I kid, take a joke! I really can’t hang out this week though because I’m busy with the working and I’m going to f**k a hot pussy who gives me some unlike you.”Hysterical laughter from MB, I ask if he has anything else he wants to talk about. “We have been together for a month and seen each other twice man, when am I going to get your pussy, when are you going to suck my big cock man? I’m impatient and it makes me not want to see you.” I say I’m not ready yet and that I want to physically see him more first. Enter in Offensive Cue Card guy…”Since you aren’t f**king me you must be getting it from somewhere else, you being a dirty b**h and cheating on me! Yeah! Yeah!”*hysterical laughter from MB*I say I have to go take the dog for a walk and that we can talk later. “He’s there now huh? Yeah you go cheat on me and f**k him good, bye!”
MB is supposedly my boyfriend, but Offensive Cue Card guy doesn’t help and needs to be fired. I think I should write out about 20 recover phrases for MB’s Cue Card guy to use. With my luck, Offensive Cue Card guy would sneeze all over them or wipe his butt on them and render them useless anyway. Anyone know of a good Cue Card guy in need of a job?

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