The Ex-Snorer

So I’m restricted to my home today(Chiropractor’s orders) and I was watching TV. This commercial came on for something called Pure Sleep ( and this commercial had snoring sounds in the background. The snoring reminded me of an ex and how I would deal with his snoring and I figured I’d share it with all of you, my friends and family get a kick out of it. Jeff was always tired, when we would go out he would fall asleep, when we would stay in, he’d fall asleep. No, I wasn’t a boring girlfriend, I think he just didn’t get proper sleep…which wasn’t fully my fault. Anyway I was getting tired of hearing him snore one night when he was dozing on the couch and I was still trying to watch the movie we started, so I did what any normal, good girlfriend would do…I pinched his nose shut with my fingers. This had the opposite effect I was going for. He closed his mouth, denying himself air and started flailing his arms and legs. I let go and he instantly stopped suffocating himself, still in a deep sleep by the way. The snoring did temporarily stop, so I was a little more happy.
The next week we went to see a movie, his choice, so therefore I figured he’d stay awake for it. I kid you not, about 15 minutes into the movie, I look over and boyfriend is sleeping. I didn’t do anything and continued to watch the movie since the snoring hadn’t come yet. Snoring showed up shortly and even after I had moved his head around, the snoring was still there and people were starting to shush him and me. I did what I thought would help, I pinched those nostrils closed! I got the same reaction as the previous experiment…his mouth closed in reaction and arms and legs flailed. I was frustrated! This was in public, on a date, I was embarrassed and I wanted him to wake up and pay attention to this movie! I pinched his nose harder and told him to wake up. Snoring beauty finally awoke and of course everything was my fault, shame on me for waking him up. I was trying to give other movie viewers a peaceful movie experience, my bad. My family and friends usually are laughing, mostly at me for having such a forceful plan of attack, other people scold me for being mean. What do you think? Am I mean and cruel? What would you do if your mate had an issue like this?

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