The Ex-Snorer

So I’m restricted to my home today(Chiropractor’s orders) and I was watching TV. This commercial came on for something called Pure Sleep (www.puresleep.com) and this commercial had snoring sounds in the background. The snoring reminded me of an ex and how I would deal with his snoring and I figured I’d share it with all of you, my friends and family get a kick out of it. Jeff was always tired, when we would go out he would fall asleep, when we would stay in, he’d fall asleep. No, I wasn’t a boring girlfriend, I think he just didn’t get proper sleep…which wasn’t fully my fault. Anyway I was getting tired of hearing him snore one night when he was dozing on the couch and I was still trying to watch the movie we started, so I did what any normal, good girlfriend would do…I pinched his nose shut with my fingers. This had the opposite effect I was going for. He closed his mouth, denying himself air and started flailing his arms and legs. I let go and he instantly stopped suffocating himself, still in a deep sleep by the way. The snoring did temporarily stop, so I was a little more happy.
The next week we went to see a movie, his choice, so therefore I figured he’d stay awake for it. I kid you not, about 15 minutes into the movie, I look over and boyfriend is sleeping. I didn’t do anything and continued to watch the movie since the snoring hadn’t come yet. Snoring showed up shortly and even after I had moved his head around, the snoring was still there and people were starting to shush him and me. I did what I thought would help, I pinched those nostrils closed! I got the same reaction as the previous experiment…his mouth closed in reaction and arms and legs flailed. I was frustrated! This was in public, on a date, I was embarrassed and I wanted him to wake up and pay attention to this movie! I pinched his nose harder and told him to wake up. Snoring beauty finally awoke and of course everything was my fault, shame on me for waking him up. I was trying to give other movie viewers a peaceful movie experience, my bad. My family and friends usually are laughing, mostly at me for having such a forceful plan of attack, other people scold me for being mean. What do you think? Am I mean and cruel? What would you do if your mate had an issue like this?

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Dating, Humor, Personal/Life. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s